24th November, 2023

"May these memories break our fall"

And I only remember when we held each other's hands through the eye of the storm.

We claw for pieces of last year.

Yearning for a taste of what it was like.

Nostalgia's diabolical, she only lets us feel what may have been the last time we were truly fulfilled,

And snaps us back into grey reality when we need sunshine most.

Three hundred and sixty-five days that don't seem so far back.

Yet our experiences tell us otherwise.

Three hundred and sixty-five days, within which people left, relationships strained, and fights caused by someone who needed love.

So much time, yet so little? Is the universe mocking us?

I see a fantasy when someone says we'll meet again.

How is anything ever to be the same?

We may have walked through the eye of the storm together but what she took away from us is more than the cost I would have liked to pay.

We walked into it one, and came out of it divided, or changed. Changed enough to be thrown away.

I have known such a high as them, but not such a low as this.

My heart aches in memory of who he was, and who he is now.

How our friendship bloomed and died just as quickly.

My heart aches in memory of how my brother was my brother and not someone I avoided.

My heart aches in memory of the children I was around, feeling like an adult, nonetheless belonged and loved.

What did these hands do? Crushed the very things I needed most

Hurt the things I needn't have lost.

On the anniversary of our pain, I'm grateful to have my feet still touching the ground.

I'm grateful for those remaining from last year, still being in my life.

May god bless the memories we made, because they broke my fall.

Note: The first line of the poem is a lyric from 'Long Live' written and sung by Taylor Swift. It is not a line written by me, however, the rest of the poem is.