Always Around

Recently, a suicide letter from a Rohingya girl addressed to her mother and sister was found. Her name was Amina, and she was 16 years old. Amina lived in one of the camps in Cox Bazar. She lost her father during the 2017 Myanmar genocide. She is likely to have been suffering from a severe mental illness due to the trauma she experienced during the genocide, the death of her father, the conditions of living in Cox Bazar, and multiple sexual assaults. The letter was initially written in Rohingya and has been translated into English.

Mother,

You gave birth to me in the hope that I would live a fruitful life. I would get educated, get a good job, start a family of my own and live in a place that was not akin to Hell. I cannot fulfil those hopes, I am sorry, I cannot help you because I cannot help myself. Your lullabies of a sweeter place ring in my head always. They will continue their melodies even in my absence.

I miss Father. I miss him every day. He was a hero. We were able to leave Myanmar alive because of him. But his death was in vain; our place in Cox is as good as us being dead. Even animals are treated better than us, Mother. I do not understand what we did to deserve this pain and misery.

Me, seven times. You, twelve times. Salma, four times. That is how many times each of our bodies was violated, treated like lifeless dolls, and left strewn in some abandoned alley.  I am leaving before it happens for an eighth time. I cannot take it. I do not want to watch you and Salma take it. It pains me to see my baby sister being treated in such a disgusting manner. I cannot do anything to protect her; I am helpless.

I have watched the life drain out of you every single day. The once hopeful and ever-joyful Mother I had is now a shell of what she was. I just wish there was a way I could get us out of this place, a place where our identities are acknowledged and humanity prevails.

That is why I made this decision. I am choosing to let my life go and be with Father. It is the easy way out, so call me a coward. But I would rather be a coward than endure any more hurt and witness more inhumanity.

I am sorry.

Salma,

My beautiful baby sister. I have prayed for you since the day you were born, and I will never stop, even when I leave. Take care of Mother. She will not cope well with this. I know I should not be leaving you like this. Honestly, you are the only reason I thought about this a million times before I settled. I simply could not continue to live.

I am your light. In times you feel lost or scared, think of me. I will protect you.

You are clever, sharp, and so pretty. Your eyes blind everyone because they shine brighter than the sun. It is a shame I will not get to see them anymore. Your smile never failed to make my day better. When you want to make yours better, look in a mirror and smile. I promise it works.

I hope life treats you better than it did me. I hope this ends soon so that you can begin to live the life you deserve.

Stay safe and look to the sky when you miss me, my love.

I am sorry.

Always yours and always around you,

Amina.

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Note: I wrote this feature article for Shri MUN 2025, where I participated as a journalist and won the 'Outstanding Journalist' award. This letter, as well as the characters, is fictional. Any relation to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. It is based on the ongoing Rohingya crisis.